I once was a simple young man.
I once was courteous without question, humble without reasoning, and innocent beyond normalcy.
Truth be told, my life was enraptured in a perpetual cocoon of safety and security.
I was never challenged, never questioned about my own aspirations, never seen as anything but “a good boy”. My virtue was to help every person without fail, go above and beyond to aid others before I even thought about working on the empty hollowness I felt inside growing up. I felt superficial, not real, a mere byproduct of my biological mother and father screwing each other and producing me as the outcome.
I won’t apologize for my crudeness.
For you see, my parents loved each other so much. When I was about seventeen years old, my father used to tell me that he and my mom would “get it on” regularly. And I’m not shocked.
They were passionate lovers at one point. Deeply connected emotionally to the point of no return.
This went on for a decade. Most of which, I wasn’t born yet.
Now, it’s a different story. My parents are divorced, and both live in two different states. It’s been this way since I was three years old.
But surprisingly enough, I’ve come to relish in the unconventional quirks of life. I understand now that such traits of generosity and basic kindness genuinely are necessary to maintain the little hospitality that still exists in our society today.
I’ve come to see now that society is necessary; life without it would be even more unimaginably tricky than it is already. But…perhaps I secretly want life to be a challenge. To see if we can make it in life and for how long is inherently a human feeling. The countless thought processes we all eventually come across in our own personal lives are a part of that journey.
Yes, I’m still cordial. I’m still friendly (to a certain point). But what I’m not is a pushover.
When I was nine years old, I had a displeasing experience that changed my perspective on how I would live the rest of my life.
I realized after that moment that I desired to live in truth, not in deception or lies. Sufficient to say, the experience I had when I was a child changed everything about my view on life. It was definitely for the better.
The experience itself is insignificant now, as ironic as that might sound. But the details of it genuinely do not matter now. Ultimately, the point I’m trying to make is this: this was the point in my young life when I had finally grown up.
Don’t get me wrong; I’m still friendly and cordial to complete strangers.
But, instead of just lying to someone I know outright and pretending to like them, each person who is placed in my life over an extended time knows one of two things about me.
The first is that I try my best to be a good acquaintance or ally with them.
The second is that if it doesn’t work out, I want nothing to do with them.
The reason for this? Life’s too short to live somebody else’s version of how I should be. I’m not fake about it; I “tell” it like it is.
If I don’t like somebody, there’s usually a reason as to why. I’ve yet to encounter a person I disliked and was utterly clueless about why I didn’t like them.
Because the truth is, we all sense each other’s souls. We all see through the facade of reality and fantasy. Undoubtedly so, when we meet a person, within the first ten minutes of meeting them, we already know if we like them or not.
It’s not rocket science; it’s just regular old biological reality. We know who we are, and we know whom we like as people. There’s no going around this fact. But, unfortunately, it’s common knowledge for any adult to realize that if people always acted out in honesty, we would all live in a chaotic world…
But don’t we live in a chaotic world already?
So what’s the point of being fake with people now?
To get ahead in life?
The rules of society are changing (and likely for the worst, depending on how you view the world). But if you’re like me, I view the immense change in the world as a good thing. Nature is taking its course with society and deciding what to do with us since we have incompetent political leaders.
I suppose if you’ve come this far in reading this, then you’ve certainly gained a new perspective on life.
Forever in Your Debt,
Leon R.M. Auguste